Get Up. Dress Up. Show Up.

I used to pole dance.

Not for very long. I was cast in a show that required it, trained for eight weeks, and performed 12 shows. It was intense. It was hard on my body. And what was required of me was fairly advanced, considering I started with no experience.

I stepped away from it. I didn’t have a pole. I was focused on ballroom and performance.

Life happened.

I had a baby at 40 years old. I fell and broke my wrist.

Two very different life events that can cause a total loss of self.

Two and a half years ago, I decided enough was enough. It was time to do something for me. So, just “for fun,” I signed up for a pole dancing class.

I got to class and I COULD NOT pick myself up off the ground.

I was looking for myself. I thought I was going back to something I knew.

Instead, I spiraled into the grief of finding out that something my body used to do was no longer available to me.

Watching this video, it looks like the work happened here.

Like I’m in the studio doing this every day. On the pole.

But it didn’t.

And I’m not.

At the time of this video, I had taken two pole classes and done two practice sessions on my own.

AS WELL AS shown up for Barre class, Pilates class, Flexibility and Mobility.

Consistently.

For two and a half years.

Day after day. Over and over.

Over the years, I’ve been guided by a set of core values. My number one:

Get up.

Dress up.

Show up.

Sometimes we do it for other people.

But sometimes, we show up for ourselves.

Keep showing up,

Ellen

Memoirs From the Dance Floor